New Language, New Opportunities

Changing our language can open opportunities to find new ways to build skills as a rider, trainer, and everything else.

We know that the words we choose shape our brains and our behavior and there has been a lot of really interesting thinking done about this idea. Check out Nova Equine Renovations great take on how the language we use about our horses and what ails them can shift how we think about physiology. 

One way I’m working to change the language I use about myself and my horse to create new opportunities in my training and riding is that I’m changing words like always/ can’t/ never to trying/ working/ learning. Here’s an example: 

“I can never keep my eyes up over fences,” becomes, “I am working on keeping my eyes up over fences.”

-or-

“I always miss the timing on that cue,” turns into “I am learning to have a better sense of timing when I cue my horse.”

If you’ve been around for any part of the language conversation, you will have heard that this works because it frames your intention in the positive. It makes sense. One of the statements is a complaint about a fact. The other is an intention toward change.

What it’s also done for me is to create the implied question of “how?” As in: How are you working on keeping your eyes up? How are you working on improving your timing? 

Changing how I’m thinking about the things that I’m working on has built the opportunity to answer this implied question into my riding and training. It gives me the opportunity to notice whether or not I actually am working on it and if so, whether the things I’m trying are likely to help me get to my goal.

It also primes my brain to be looking for opportunities to answer the “how” question no matter what I’m working on. For example: if my timing is off on my cue for canter and today we’re working on relaxation at the trot, as long as I’m answering the question of “how am I working on improving my timing?” I’ll be looking for ways to improve my timing overall which helps a lot when I go back to try to fix my canter transition.

And, it’s helped in other areas of my life too. I’m trying to be a better listener, I am working on my patience with my kid. I am learning to set healthy boundaries.

It’s shaping my brain to look for opportunities that are already there, and in the process helping me work on being a better rider, trainer, and everything else.