My responsibility to take out the trash
The phrase “taking out the trash,” coined by Patrick King is a way of talking about the act of processing trauma, negative associations, and uncomfortable experiences. Yawning in horses is an indication of a “release,” a result of this type of processing.
The phrase “taking out the trash,” coined by Patrick King, is a way of talking about the act of processing trauma, negative associations, and uncomfortable experiences.The first time I heard the phrase, he was talking specifically about a horse that I was working with, Woodrow, who had significant negative associations with all things related to people and especially riding. But, when I would really tune into him while we were working, Woodrow would relax and think about things for a moment. His eyes would get soft, and then he’d yawn this huge wide yawn- a sign that he was letting some of those negative associations go.
The more I think about the idea of horses “taking out the trash,” the more I think about the responsibility that we have to take out our own trash.
Horses do all kinds of silly things. They attempt to fly on the end of a lunge line because the wind is up. They forget how to do the thing they practiced perfectly last session. They suddenly decide that the saddle pad they’ve worn 800 times is terrifying. There are scientific reasons why the sympathetic nervous system gets activated, why all of these silly, logical, normal things happen. But no matter the reason, they throw a wrench in any plans one might have.
And if I’m not careful, I’ll find myself getting triggered by my horse’s behavior. Maybe I have feelings of insecurity about my training skills and my ego is getting in the way. Maybe it reminds me that I don’t feel listened to in other areas of my life and it hurts that I have an unmet need that has nothing to do with my horse.
Whatever the reason, if I don’t take out my own trash, if I don’t deal with all of those underlying feelings and my horse’s behavior triggers me, it’s like a cascade failure. Their behavior strikes a nerve and then I have a sympathetic nervous system response. Now neither of us are able to regulate our emotions. My nervous system has signaled to my horse that something is very wrong, and no one is learning anything.
Worse, I’m at risk for creating negative associations with what we’re working on instead of helping my horse create positive associations with the behavior I want to encourage.
It’s possible to come back from this place, but it’s better to avoid going there in the first place. If my goal is to prioritize my relationship with my horse, it’s my responsibility to show up to that relationship, as much as I can, in ways that maintain the connection between human and horse.
And that’s not possible if I have a bunch of trash lying around.
