I didn’t go to the barn today.

I didn’t go to the barn today.

And that’s ok.

If you’re anything like me, this phrase isn’t an easy place to land. I love my horses and it feeds my soul to work with them. I feel an intense commitment and responsibility to engage with my horses and support them in their growth. I work hard to show up and stay present both in the moment and over time, and when I have to choose something over that commitment, it feels like a failure.

I’m also a mom, a spouse, and a friend. I have a house, and car trouble, and people who rely on me for all kinds of things outside of the barn. Sometimes I need to care for my mental and physical health. It’s ok.

Horses don’t need us to be superhuman (are they watered, are they fed, are they healthy? They’ll be ok). Choosing to prioritize something else for a moment doesn’t mean I don’t care about my horses, or that I won’t be back at it as soon as I can.

There shouldn’t be shame when life pulls you away from the barn for a day, or for even longer [link to other blog post]. Things happen that get in the way, responsibilities rear their heads, perhaps something happened to make you so upset or stressed that you know you won’t be able to be present with your horse the way they need you to. 

It’s ok.

If it’s ok to make the choice to push through those things, to tough it out and allow being as present as you can be with your horse to change the state of your brain, as I more often try to do; Then it’s also completely ok to make the choice to stay home. 

Maybe this is an opportunity to prioritize what you need, to understand that for whatever reason, today you aren’t able to create a safe and empathetic space for your horse. Maybe work has been intense, or your spouse needs your support, or maybe your kid gave you the kindergarten crud (again!?). Whatever it is, if you’re looking for permission to take a break, to rest, to contemplate, to breathe, here it is.